 | ||||
| I have been inspired. I have become a writer in Paris. |
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Paris. Paris. Paris.
When I first arrived to Paris I wasn't sure where to go.
There were so many different streets and the signs were in a different language. How did one ever get around here for a daily life?
As time continued, every Morning became more and more beautiful with each new sunrise.
The language was still foreign and not many knew what I was trying to say.
I tried to write down what I felt, but no one wanted to listen right then. They were busy.I watched a women at a Cafe' a few days ago and she intrigued me. She was cloaked with beauty; Not beauty from the face or clothes, but from what she was doing. With her little black pen and navy blue journal she simply wrote and wrote. I once watched her for 2 hours. She glanced up every few minutes and then would write. I was fascinated by this and wanted to know what she was writing about. How was she receiving her inspiration? God? Herself?
After about the seventh day I decided to walk over and sit by her I asked if she was enjoying Paris but nothing come out of her. She simply glanced at me with a smile and started writing again... The man next to me leaned over,
" She's busy."
"Busy? She's only writing... can't she stop writing and answer me?"
The man smiled. I think he knew I had never been here before.
"Paris is where you taste it. Where you drink it up till the last drop is gone. Paris is not a one time event; but rather a lifetime of travel. You cannot visit Paris once and expect anything, you have to continue until there is no more resistance. Until you are the only one here and everyone becomes your inspiration. She's busy."
The story of the women changed my visit from that day forward. Each day held new possibilities and new reasons to be inspired. I knew what streets to turn on and which ones I still needed to explore. The signs no longer confused me. I started to understand their language; their purpose of life.
My little black pen and navy blue journal became my purpose.
Thank you Paris. Thank you for everything.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Jealousy.
The Coming of Light
By Mark Strand
Even this late it happens:
the coming of love, the coming of light.
You wake and the candles are lit as if by themselves,
stars gather, dreams pour into your pillows,
sending up warm bouquets of air.
Even this late the bones of the body shine
and tomorrow's dust flares into breath.
I found this poem searching the internet and it caught my attention.
I love how he jumps right into the poem and grabs your attention like
he was already in the middle of a story.
"Dreams pour into your pillows" is one of my favorite lines.
It makes me picture that it's almost as if it's rain falling onto
the pillow. Everything about this poem works perfectly; & it's SHORT.
I love amazing short poems so much.
I love how instead of bouquets of flowers he says "warm bouquets of air."
It brings a whole new outlook of what a bouquet could be,
and that it has a temperature.
It's simply brilliant & leaves me filled with envy & jealousy.
Monday, December 3, 2012
Fragile.
Why can't this be easy?
Why do I have to carry this luggage that pulls me down further and further?
Why can't You see I'm too fragile.
I have never wanted to be a disappointment.
I don't want that title; that heartache.
But here I am afraid of what you will say.
Do I want to hear this?
Do I want to know how bad I failed...
I don't need this.
"Do you hear ME!"
Silence fell.
"Why couldn't you save me?... Why couldn't you carry some luggage?"
Why do I have to carry this luggage that pulls me down further and further?
Why can't You see I'm too fragile.
I have never wanted to be a disappointment.
I don't want that title; that heartache.
But here I am afraid of what you will say.
Do I want to hear this?
Do I want to know how bad I failed...
I don't need this.
"Do you hear ME!"
Silence fell.
"Why couldn't you save me?... Why couldn't you carry some luggage?"
Monday, November 26, 2012
Six Words.
I never told anyone that before.
Before you judge consider the following.
The book's pages held her life.
Couldn't cope, so I wrote songs.
I will never be quite finished.
Take chances now, regret them later.
Live for now, believe in the furture.
I will always try to impress.
Before you judge consider the following.
The book's pages held her life.
Couldn't cope, so I wrote songs.
I will never be quite finished.
Take chances now, regret them later.
Live for now, believe in the furture.
I will always try to impress.
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Pavement.
Grab my hand.
Pull me close.
Tell me sweet nothings and promise me things you know you could never keep.
Go ahead. Throw me to the pavement.
You've done it once you can do it twice.
Throw me down like you already have.
You say you would never do such a thing; yet here you are looking down at me.
Ha. That's funny.
Love? That doesn't exist for you. Only fools fall for that.
I guess I'm that fool.
But it's too late now.
My head is already throbbing, my hand is sore, & my back hurts from that pavement.
I have a mark now.
A mark that reminds me.
Reminds me of everything you never were.
You say you don't know how to break someones heart,
But you have already mastered the process.
You don't need me to give you instructions.
Monday, November 12, 2012
Happy Endings.
Happy endings and fairy tales.
Doubtful looks starred at me... oh, right; how could I forget?
Sometimes being totally screwed
can set you free or cause a nightmare.
I wasn't in the mood to explain;
to have a long conversation.
Who says there has to be a connection?
A story?
He listened carefully; I could hear his thoughts...
AH! SHUT UP!
Could he possibly live up to my expectations?
A true lover is flawed & has that one thing they can never apologize for.
He couldn't understand why and now there was curiousity.
The question could no longer be ignored.
Someone has to show their flaws.
Someone has to make this a happy ending.
Doubtful looks starred at me... oh, right; how could I forget?
Sometimes being totally screwed
can set you free or cause a nightmare.
I wasn't in the mood to explain;
to have a long conversation.
Who says there has to be a connection?
A story?
He listened carefully; I could hear his thoughts...
AH! SHUT UP!
Could he possibly live up to my expectations?
A true lover is flawed & has that one thing they can never apologize for.
He couldn't understand why and now there was curiousity.
The question could no longer be ignored.
Someone has to show their flaws.
Someone has to make this a happy ending.
Rain Drops & Patterns.
These are the poems I wrote from the newspaper.
Rain Drops
Travel
in
the
rain
with
people
determined
they'll
start
up
again.
Patterns.
Continue
running
with
no
pattern
Spring
Forward
from
that
firm
decline
&
jump
in
the
future.
Rain Drops
Travel
in
the
rain
with
people
determined
they'll
start
up
again.
Patterns.
Continue
running
with
no
pattern
Spring
Forward
from
that
firm
decline
&
jump
in
the
future.
Sunday, November 4, 2012
No Warning.
It all came at once.
No one warned me. There were no signs that said STOP; your childhood is about to END.
It smacked me in the face and left a red mark.
I didn't have a four way or even a two way. It all came at once.
I tried to see if I could go back and fit in those pants that I loved so much with grass stains & trampoline scars. But I was too big; I had grown out of them. I couldn't shrink back down, I couldn't change what the years had done to me.
My little purple shoes that I wore till holes were at my big toe; could no longer travel with me. They just had to sit and gather dust.
My perfect baby doll no longer was taken care of. She just starred & sat; She use to be so much more. But now I can't make her come back to life. My powers are gone. My favorite movie seems so unreal. There is no more left in it but characters.
It all came at once and stole the music that made me creative.
No one warned me. There were no signs that said STOP; your childhood is about to END.
It smacked me in the face and left a red mark.
I didn't have a four way or even a two way. It all came at once.
I tried to see if I could go back and fit in those pants that I loved so much with grass stains & trampoline scars. But I was too big; I had grown out of them. I couldn't shrink back down, I couldn't change what the years had done to me.
My little purple shoes that I wore till holes were at my big toe; could no longer travel with me. They just had to sit and gather dust.
My perfect baby doll no longer was taken care of. She just starred & sat; She use to be so much more. But now I can't make her come back to life. My powers are gone. My favorite movie seems so unreal. There is no more left in it but characters.
It all came at once and stole the music that made me creative.
Swings & Dolls.
I remember.
I remember taking the bus. I remember 6th grade wall ball & four square. I remember blisters from monkey bars & back flips off of slides. I remember my first crush and how he gave me a pen in my favorite color PINK. I remember mismatched socks and moon boots. I remember trampoline scuffs & bruised knees.
I remember not doing my hair; not caring about anyone. I remember swinging till it was dark and time for dinner. I remember having an imaginary friend. I remember playing barbies. I remember doing my dolls makeup. I remember wanting to be a Princess. I remember wearing my moms jewelry
I remember watching all my siblings getting married. I remember hating my brother for it; he just got home, how could he leave me already.
I remember seeing my dad in the hospital. I remember being scared to touch him afraid I would break him. I remember watching my mom fall, fall, fall. I remember crying and begging for her to be okay. I remember watching my brothers face fill with sorrow. I remember searching for an answer to why this would happen. I remember feeling a glimpse of hope & His presence.
I remember dressing up as Zorro because that was me & my dads favorite show. I remember falling asleep on the couch with my head on his big round belly.
I remember almost losing a parent for the second time. I remember God; His presence; His hand holding mine. I remember that moment when I realized I need to say "I love you" more.
I remember my moms comforting words when I had a nightmare.
I remember.
I remember taking the bus. I remember 6th grade wall ball & four square. I remember blisters from monkey bars & back flips off of slides. I remember my first crush and how he gave me a pen in my favorite color PINK. I remember mismatched socks and moon boots. I remember trampoline scuffs & bruised knees.
I remember not doing my hair; not caring about anyone. I remember swinging till it was dark and time for dinner. I remember having an imaginary friend. I remember playing barbies. I remember doing my dolls makeup. I remember wanting to be a Princess. I remember wearing my moms jewelry
I remember watching all my siblings getting married. I remember hating my brother for it; he just got home, how could he leave me already.
I remember seeing my dad in the hospital. I remember being scared to touch him afraid I would break him. I remember watching my mom fall, fall, fall. I remember crying and begging for her to be okay. I remember watching my brothers face fill with sorrow. I remember searching for an answer to why this would happen. I remember feeling a glimpse of hope & His presence.
I remember dressing up as Zorro because that was me & my dads favorite show. I remember falling asleep on the couch with my head on his big round belly.
I remember almost losing a parent for the second time. I remember God; His presence; His hand holding mine. I remember that moment when I realized I need to say "I love you" more.
I remember my moms comforting words when I had a nightmare.
I remember.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Wired.
Cover up; Hide.
You know that's all you can do.
You can't change.. You were wired this way.
No matter how hard they push and pull; you hold tighter.
It's all you can do.
You know that's all you can do.
You can't change.. You were wired this way.
No matter how hard they push and pull; you hold tighter.
It's all you can do.
Speak.
One
Two
Three
....
....
....
Four
Five
Six
....
SPEAK. Say something.
....
Seven
Eight
Nine
....
What if we only had TEN seconds to explain. To mumble out our thoughts that don't make sense to anyone. I sit here and think. Think about words and what they mean and how we say them. "What if's" fill my mind and I can't control them. They tangle up and I become confused; stuck. I don't know what to say. I have never been good with words; with explaining. They tried to combine to make a sentence; to roll off my tongue; but I only had ten seconds.
....
Ten.
Two
Three
....
....
....
Four
Five
Six
....
SPEAK. Say something.
....
Seven
Eight
Nine
....
What if we only had TEN seconds to explain. To mumble out our thoughts that don't make sense to anyone. I sit here and think. Think about words and what they mean and how we say them. "What if's" fill my mind and I can't control them. They tangle up and I become confused; stuck. I don't know what to say. I have never been good with words; with explaining. They tried to combine to make a sentence; to roll off my tongue; but I only had ten seconds.
....
Ten.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Rock Out.
Rock out like you just won a prize off a cereal box. Rock out like you just won an ulimited amount of money.
Like you just married your High School Sweet-Heart.
Rock out as if you just won The Price Is Right. Like you have someone to dance in the rain with and hold their hand. Like you just jumped out of an airplane and are flying, flying, flying. Rock out like you just kissed that boy you have always liked. Like you will never age and stay young forever. Rock out like you just lost inches of your waist and you can fit in those old pair of jeans. Rock out.
Rock out like there is no tomorrow. Like there are no punishments and every consequence is good and you can do whatever you want. Rock out as if we never ran out of days. Like there was no High School. Rock out as you would if you were all alone dancing to your favorite song. Like you just met your favorite band and they liked your shoes. Rock out.
Rock out like you never have before. I dare you.
Like you just married your High School Sweet-Heart.
Rock out as if you just won The Price Is Right. Like you have someone to dance in the rain with and hold their hand. Like you just jumped out of an airplane and are flying, flying, flying. Rock out like you just kissed that boy you have always liked. Like you will never age and stay young forever. Rock out like you just lost inches of your waist and you can fit in those old pair of jeans. Rock out.
Rock out like there is no tomorrow. Like there are no punishments and every consequence is good and you can do whatever you want. Rock out as if we never ran out of days. Like there was no High School. Rock out as you would if you were all alone dancing to your favorite song. Like you just met your favorite band and they liked your shoes. Rock out.
Rock out like you never have before. I dare you.
Monday, October 15, 2012
Nothing.
It can't fix anything.
Duct tape.
Duct tape can't fix my mistakes. My many mistakes that can't be taped over.
They can't always just be covered up with a thick mass of grey.
It can't fix my fears, worries, and doubts.
It can't fix how I see myself in the mirror. How I see every little blemish on my face, and every flaw on my body. It can't fix anything.
Duct tape can't fix my heart. My heart is not a piece of plastic that needs tape. It is alive. It craves, and it breathes for something more. It craves for you. To whom I wish I could hold onto forever. But duct tape can't give me you...It can't give me anything.
It simply leaves me with nothing but a roll of duct tape.
Duct tape.
Duct tape can't fix my mistakes. My many mistakes that can't be taped over.
They can't always just be covered up with a thick mass of grey.
It can't fix my fears, worries, and doubts.
It can't fix how I see myself in the mirror. How I see every little blemish on my face, and every flaw on my body. It can't fix anything.
Duct tape can't fix my heart. My heart is not a piece of plastic that needs tape. It is alive. It craves, and it breathes for something more. It craves for you. To whom I wish I could hold onto forever. But duct tape can't give me you...It can't give me anything.
It simply leaves me with nothing but a roll of duct tape.
Bunch of Lies.
I changed for you, and now I want to change back.
But I've realized that maybe I never changed... I just became me.
And now being myself doesn't seem to be possible with anyone but you.
I gave you all I had and now all I have is broken memories of what we used to be
and what I miss most.
I need you.
But I can't pretend anymore.
I can't pretend I never think about you, dream about you, that every song brings me to change the channel with hesitation. I want to forget. But I can't and neither can you. Don't stare at me and tell me you don't feel that passion to be together. That burning ache to be like we used to be! But who am I to say what we had. I have only found that love is a bunch of lies cradled by emotion that could burst at any moment.. It's all a bunch of lies.
Lies. Lies. Lies.
I don't need your lies anymore.
But I've realized that maybe I never changed... I just became me.
And now being myself doesn't seem to be possible with anyone but you.
I gave you all I had and now all I have is broken memories of what we used to be
and what I miss most.
I need you.
But I can't pretend anymore.
I can't pretend I never think about you, dream about you, that every song brings me to change the channel with hesitation. I want to forget. But I can't and neither can you. Don't stare at me and tell me you don't feel that passion to be together. That burning ache to be like we used to be! But who am I to say what we had. I have only found that love is a bunch of lies cradled by emotion that could burst at any moment.. It's all a bunch of lies.
Lies. Lies. Lies.
I don't need your lies anymore.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
I Will Wait.
For what's it's worth I never meant to hurt you.
I never wanted to cause you utter pain.. but
For what's it's worth I deserve better.
I deserve commitment, passion, love, and sweet kisses.
For what it's worth you never really cared.
You call in home sick. You pretend I don't exist.
You never reply and I'm calling in home sick this time.
For what it's worth, I still Love You...
I still crave for you to be next to me.
I still think of you over every cheesy love song.
I still wish you were here with me to just hold me...in silence, without a word being shared.
For what it's worth I will wait for your reply.. I will wait for you because we both deserve each other.
I never wanted to cause you utter pain.. but
For what's it's worth I deserve better.
I deserve commitment, passion, love, and sweet kisses.
For what it's worth you never really cared.
You call in home sick. You pretend I don't exist.
You never reply and I'm calling in home sick this time.
For what it's worth, I still Love You...
I still crave for you to be next to me.
I still think of you over every cheesy love song.
I still wish you were here with me to just hold me...in silence, without a word being shared.
For what it's worth I will wait for your reply.. I will wait for you because we both deserve each other.
Let Go.
There is nothing more to do.
We have been waiting to see.
Waiting to see if we could just sit here and something would happen.
But this is not what they want...They know what I need.
They said let go.
They said to not hold on so tight.
Relax
It's going to be alright.
They said to stop thinking so hard. Thinking about what doesn't matter.
Let go.
My bones said to move. To get up and do something for yourself!
They tell me to not dwell on death, but rather what I'm going to do.
They said to breathe. *sigh*
They said to release all that is holding me back.
My bones said to keep walking.
They said there's still more miles to travel. Life isn't over yet. Keep Going.
They said they ached and were in pain. My bones. My bones.
They said to not worry if they break, but to just keep pushing and forget about the pain.
My bones said to LIVE.
For they won't las forever.
They will not always be this strong.
My bones said to LIVE. Live if not for me, for Yourself.
We have been waiting to see.
Waiting to see if we could just sit here and something would happen.
But this is not what they want...They know what I need.
They said let go.
They said to not hold on so tight.
Relax
It's going to be alright.
They said to stop thinking so hard. Thinking about what doesn't matter.
Let go.
My bones said to move. To get up and do something for yourself!
They tell me to not dwell on death, but rather what I'm going to do.
They said to breathe. *sigh*
They said to release all that is holding me back.
My bones said to keep walking.
They said there's still more miles to travel. Life isn't over yet. Keep Going.
They said they ached and were in pain. My bones. My bones.
They said to not worry if they break, but to just keep pushing and forget about the pain.
My bones said to LIVE.
For they won't las forever.
They will not always be this strong.
My bones said to LIVE. Live if not for me, for Yourself.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Ticking Away.
Tick..Tick..Tick..
We wake up the same time every morning so we don't get stuck in traffic and we can get our parking spot.
Tick..Tick..Tick..
We check the time over and over to see how much longer we have to be in class.
Tick..Tick..Tick..
We go home and do our homework, hangout with friends, and maybe squeeze in some TV. But before we know it, our time for that day is gone.
Tick.
We wait for the right time to say I love you and we wait for the right time to say were sorry. We sit here and wait and time passes on. It ticks, ticks, ticks, and never stops. We have no control over it and maybe that's why we have come to hate it. Maybe we hate time because it is so delicate and we are just to rough.
Maybe time is more than just a clock tick, tick, ticking away... Maybe it is a reminder to not waste our days doing what we should have done a month ago. Maybe, just maybe, it is supposed to be a reminder of what matters on a day to day basis.
Go kiss that boy or girl. Go say that long awaited sorry. Go. Time is not going to wait.
We wake up the same time every morning so we don't get stuck in traffic and we can get our parking spot.
Tick..Tick..Tick..
We check the time over and over to see how much longer we have to be in class.
Tick..Tick..Tick..
We go home and do our homework, hangout with friends, and maybe squeeze in some TV. But before we know it, our time for that day is gone.
Tick.
We wait for the right time to say I love you and we wait for the right time to say were sorry. We sit here and wait and time passes on. It ticks, ticks, ticks, and never stops. We have no control over it and maybe that's why we have come to hate it. Maybe we hate time because it is so delicate and we are just to rough.
Maybe time is more than just a clock tick, tick, ticking away... Maybe it is a reminder to not waste our days doing what we should have done a month ago. Maybe, just maybe, it is supposed to be a reminder of what matters on a day to day basis.
Go kiss that boy or girl. Go say that long awaited sorry. Go. Time is not going to wait.
Captured.
I can't stop thinking about you.
You.
You grab onto my thoughts like a chocolate craving. Like gum on a shoe. Like an anchor to a ship hitting the ocean ground.
I'm thinking about you like cats think about sleep. How they sleep whenever they want and still can never be satisfied. I'm thinking about you like rings think about fingers. Like shelves think about books and how they get dusty and forgotten. I can't stop thinking about you.
You crawl into my dreams and I think about you more. I'm thinking about you like rain thinks about rainbows. Like lightening thinks about open land. I'm thinking about you like shells think about hearing the ocean. I'm thinking about you. I'm thinking about you like paintbrushes think about a canvas. Like white thinks about color.
I'm thinking about you with these thoughts that don't make sense. I'm thinking about you like the mountains think about the rising sun. Like eyes think about miracles. Like miracles of a child recovering from cancer.
I'm thinking about you like books think about the ending. How I wish it was the ending! I wish I knew already if I was just wasting my time. I'm thinking about you like boys think about food and children think about eating sand. I'm thinking about you like pictures think about being captured. Because you captured me and now all I can do is think about you.
You.
You grab onto my thoughts like a chocolate craving. Like gum on a shoe. Like an anchor to a ship hitting the ocean ground.
I'm thinking about you like cats think about sleep. How they sleep whenever they want and still can never be satisfied. I'm thinking about you like rings think about fingers. Like shelves think about books and how they get dusty and forgotten. I can't stop thinking about you.
You crawl into my dreams and I think about you more. I'm thinking about you like rain thinks about rainbows. Like lightening thinks about open land. I'm thinking about you like shells think about hearing the ocean. I'm thinking about you. I'm thinking about you like paintbrushes think about a canvas. Like white thinks about color.
I'm thinking about you with these thoughts that don't make sense. I'm thinking about you like the mountains think about the rising sun. Like eyes think about miracles. Like miracles of a child recovering from cancer.
I'm thinking about you like books think about the ending. How I wish it was the ending! I wish I knew already if I was just wasting my time. I'm thinking about you like boys think about food and children think about eating sand. I'm thinking about you like pictures think about being captured. Because you captured me and now all I can do is think about you.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Unseen.
(Photo I took awhile back)
There is more to me than just looks.
More to me than just what you see.
There is more to this life...
A rain drop on a rose.
A kiss on the cheek.
A smile to a stranger.
A simple Hello.
There is more to this life...
A kiss Goodbye.
A letter finally sent.
A welcome home.
A firm handshake.
There is more to this life...
There is more than what we are seeing through these naked eyes.
An unseen world.
An unseen ME.
Fears...
I am afraid of losing all I care about... family, friends, animals...
I am afraid of being judged.
Of never being loved.
Of making the wrong decision and it affecting not only me, but everyone around me.
I am afraid to stand out. Of not staying true to myself. I am afraid of the word perfect.
I am afraid of dying. I am afraid to be alone. Of how people see me. I am afraid of being boring. Of never taking a risk.
I am afraid of being a bad parent friend, aunt, and daughter.
I am afraid of waking up one morning and being blind. Of not being able to hear,taste or smell.
I am afraid of not impressing you.
Of not loving someone the way I should have. I am afraid to not find that special someone.
I am afraid of not reaching my potential.
I am afraid of the word control...of people controlling me and my dreams.
I am afraid of strangers.
I am afraid of first impressions. Of not being what I put myself out to be.
Of disappointing my parents.
I am afraid of a lot of things.They may seem ridiculous, confusing, or simply weird. But that is a risk I am going to have to take even if I am.. afraid.
I am afraid of being judged.
Of never being loved.
Of making the wrong decision and it affecting not only me, but everyone around me.
I am afraid to stand out. Of not staying true to myself. I am afraid of the word perfect.
I am afraid of dying. I am afraid to be alone. Of how people see me. I am afraid of being boring. Of never taking a risk.
I am afraid of being a bad parent friend, aunt, and daughter.
I am afraid of waking up one morning and being blind. Of not being able to hear,taste or smell.
I am afraid of not impressing you.
Of not loving someone the way I should have. I am afraid to not find that special someone.
I am afraid of not reaching my potential.
I am afraid of the word control...of people controlling me and my dreams.
I am afraid of strangers.
I am afraid of first impressions. Of not being what I put myself out to be.
Of disappointing my parents.
I am afraid of a lot of things.They may seem ridiculous, confusing, or simply weird. But that is a risk I am going to have to take even if I am.. afraid.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
"I Won't Give Up."
Many of you might have heard this song before. But I catch myself listening to it over and over again, and since we are talking about love, I thought this would fit. And most of all I love the lyrics.
Heartless.
A goodbye never wanted.
A thought never heard.
Moments passed.
Thoughts wasted.
Time.
Dreams turned into reality.
No reply.
Months unspoken.
Promises broken.
Hope.
High expectations.
There is no other way to describe this feeling. This heartless pounding sensation moving through your body. It heaps into your soul, running rapidly through your veins. You feel yourself getting anxious. Your veins pumping harder. The pounding in your chest grows stronger with each breath. It creeps up on you like a shadow, dark and unknown, it stays. You can't sell it at a garage sell, or crumble it up like a piece of paper and throw it away. It comes like a wind storm, fierce with no timetable crashing through everything in its path. You think it's gone, and then it comes back, wanting, needing more. There is no stopping it.
Love.
A thought never heard.
Moments passed.
Thoughts wasted.
Time.
Dreams turned into reality.
No reply.
Months unspoken.
Promises broken.
High expectations.
There is no other way to describe this feeling. This heartless pounding sensation moving through your body. It heaps into your soul, running rapidly through your veins. You feel yourself getting anxious. Your veins pumping harder. The pounding in your chest grows stronger with each breath. It creeps up on you like a shadow, dark and unknown, it stays. You can't sell it at a garage sell, or crumble it up like a piece of paper and throw it away. It comes like a wind storm, fierce with no timetable crashing through everything in its path. You think it's gone, and then it comes back, wanting, needing more. There is no stopping it.
Love.
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Truth.
"I AM STRONG because I know my Weaknesses
I AM BEAUTIFUL because I am aware of my Flaws
I AM FEARLESS because I learnt to recognize, illusion from Real
I AM WISE because I learn from my Mistakes
I AM A LOVER because I have felt Hate
and
I CAN LAUGH because I have known Sadness."
How true is this. Every line relates to different situations that have made me who I am today. Being a teenager can be really hard. You have to learn to be strong enough to say no, to realize you are beautiful without looking like everyone else, you have to become fearless in making decisions, you have to learn to love those that are real and not fake, and you have to learn to laugh. I don't know about anyone else, but I think knowing who you are and what you stand for can be the hardest decsions in your life. You want to fit in and feel apart of something. There is too much pressure on being perfect. Those who look like they have it all together can often be those that are falling apart the most inside. We never know what people have been through to become who they are today. We cannot judge those around us. NONE of us have the right to do that.
I am strong, beautiful, fearless, wise, a lover, and I have learned to laugh. I read these qualities and I want to think that of myself. I think it is sad when people can only think of the negative about themselves. They don't see their amazing potential. They don't realize what they can do! I must confess that I have had these days. I look in the mirror and sometimes I am not happy with myself. Im not happy with who I am. Those are the days when we can change. We can become better and learn. We can become beautiful, fearless, wise, a lover, and so much more!
Never doubt what you can do. We can all gain qualities we wish to become.
I AM BEAUTIFUL because I am aware of my Flaws
I AM FEARLESS because I learnt to recognize, illusion from Real
I AM WISE because I learn from my Mistakes
I AM A LOVER because I have felt Hate
and
I CAN LAUGH because I have known Sadness."
How true is this. Every line relates to different situations that have made me who I am today. Being a teenager can be really hard. You have to learn to be strong enough to say no, to realize you are beautiful without looking like everyone else, you have to become fearless in making decisions, you have to learn to love those that are real and not fake, and you have to learn to laugh. I don't know about anyone else, but I think knowing who you are and what you stand for can be the hardest decsions in your life. You want to fit in and feel apart of something. There is too much pressure on being perfect. Those who look like they have it all together can often be those that are falling apart the most inside. We never know what people have been through to become who they are today. We cannot judge those around us. NONE of us have the right to do that.
I am strong, beautiful, fearless, wise, a lover, and I have learned to laugh. I read these qualities and I want to think that of myself. I think it is sad when people can only think of the negative about themselves. They don't see their amazing potential. They don't realize what they can do! I must confess that I have had these days. I look in the mirror and sometimes I am not happy with myself. Im not happy with who I am. Those are the days when we can change. We can become better and learn. We can become beautiful, fearless, wise, a lover, and so much more!
Never doubt what you can do. We can all gain qualities we wish to become.
Who am I?
Who am I to judge?
Who am I to say that I am better then you?
Who am I to exclude people?
Who am I to be selfish?
Who am I to say things I don't mean?
Who am I to not be a better person?
Who am I?
Each day I wake up and TRY to expect the best. I TRY to be a better person. I TRY to love all those around me... But sometimes we have no control and that can be the worst feeling. There will be bad, horrible, sometimes down right unfair days and we question our actions, words, and sometimes ourselves in asking, "Who am I?"
The real question we need to ask ourselves is, "Am I going to let this over take me?" I know that I do not have the best attitude everyday. In fact, most of the time I just have to hope and TRY to have the faith it will be a better day. There is no rule book in being human. We have no instructions of what we should do in each situation. When we make mistakes we are supposed to learn from them. We just have to TRY.
I asked several questions at the beginning of this post... Maybe some of these questions relate to you as they do to me. We are selfish, judgmental, exclusive, rude, and can be harsh with our words. Yet at the same time we love, we are happy, we seek for the best in us and those we love, and we say what we feel. Who am I? I am human. We are ALL human.
Who am I to say that I am better then you?
Who am I to exclude people?
Who am I to be selfish?
Who am I to say things I don't mean?
Who am I to not be a better person?
Who am I?
Each day I wake up and TRY to expect the best. I TRY to be a better person. I TRY to love all those around me... But sometimes we have no control and that can be the worst feeling. There will be bad, horrible, sometimes down right unfair days and we question our actions, words, and sometimes ourselves in asking, "Who am I?"
The real question we need to ask ourselves is, "Am I going to let this over take me?" I know that I do not have the best attitude everyday. In fact, most of the time I just have to hope and TRY to have the faith it will be a better day. There is no rule book in being human. We have no instructions of what we should do in each situation. When we make mistakes we are supposed to learn from them. We just have to TRY.
I asked several questions at the beginning of this post... Maybe some of these questions relate to you as they do to me. We are selfish, judgmental, exclusive, rude, and can be harsh with our words. Yet at the same time we love, we are happy, we seek for the best in us and those we love, and we say what we feel. Who am I? I am human. We are ALL human.
Friday, August 31, 2012
Introduction
So here is my blog. Nothing fancy, but hopefully nothing to boring. I am not the best writer, but I enjoy it..(so no judging please).. I like being able to say what I think with a pen and paper or in this case a keyboard to the screen. I dislike fake people very much. You can either be yourself (which is the best choice) or you can be a copy of someone else, and no one likes copies. I love the outdoors. I would describe myself as a farm girl. Sunsets are the best time of day. I also am a hopeless romantic. I love seeing cute old couples that have been together for forty plus years. It is simply the best. I also love finding and internalizing quotes that inspire me. I'm not saying all the sudden I become a better person in two minutes from reading a quote, but I love finding a good quote and having it always be remembered in my life. There is something about the simple sayings in life that help me through all the tough times. So I will most likely be referring to a lot of quotes or sayings that strike me. So here I go.
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