I can't stop thinking about you.
You.
You grab onto my thoughts like a chocolate craving. Like gum on a shoe. Like an anchor to a ship hitting the ocean ground.
I'm thinking about you like cats think about sleep. How they sleep whenever they want and still can never be satisfied. I'm thinking about you like rings think about fingers. Like shelves think about books and how they get dusty and forgotten. I can't stop thinking about you.
You crawl into my dreams and I think about you more. I'm thinking about you like rain thinks about rainbows. Like lightening thinks about open land. I'm thinking about you like shells think about hearing the ocean. I'm thinking about you. I'm thinking about you like paintbrushes think about a canvas. Like white thinks about color.
I'm thinking about you with these thoughts that don't make sense. I'm thinking about you like the mountains think about the rising sun. Like eyes think about miracles. Like miracles of a child recovering from cancer.
I'm thinking about you like books think about the ending. How I wish it was the ending! I wish I knew already if I was just wasting my time. I'm thinking about you like boys think about food and children think about eating sand. I'm thinking about you like pictures think about being captured. Because you captured me and now all I can do is think about you.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Unseen.
(Photo I took awhile back)
There is more to me than just looks.
More to me than just what you see.
There is more to this life...
A rain drop on a rose.
A kiss on the cheek.
A smile to a stranger.
A simple Hello.
There is more to this life...
A kiss Goodbye.
A letter finally sent.
A welcome home.
A firm handshake.
There is more to this life...
There is more than what we are seeing through these naked eyes.
An unseen world.
An unseen ME.
Fears...
I am afraid of losing all I care about... family, friends, animals...
I am afraid of being judged.
Of never being loved.
Of making the wrong decision and it affecting not only me, but everyone around me.
I am afraid to stand out. Of not staying true to myself. I am afraid of the word perfect.
I am afraid of dying. I am afraid to be alone. Of how people see me. I am afraid of being boring. Of never taking a risk.
I am afraid of being a bad parent friend, aunt, and daughter.
I am afraid of waking up one morning and being blind. Of not being able to hear,taste or smell.
I am afraid of not impressing you.
Of not loving someone the way I should have. I am afraid to not find that special someone.
I am afraid of not reaching my potential.
I am afraid of the word control...of people controlling me and my dreams.
I am afraid of strangers.
I am afraid of first impressions. Of not being what I put myself out to be.
Of disappointing my parents.
I am afraid of a lot of things.They may seem ridiculous, confusing, or simply weird. But that is a risk I am going to have to take even if I am.. afraid.
I am afraid of being judged.
Of never being loved.
Of making the wrong decision and it affecting not only me, but everyone around me.
I am afraid to stand out. Of not staying true to myself. I am afraid of the word perfect.
I am afraid of dying. I am afraid to be alone. Of how people see me. I am afraid of being boring. Of never taking a risk.
I am afraid of being a bad parent friend, aunt, and daughter.
I am afraid of waking up one morning and being blind. Of not being able to hear,taste or smell.
I am afraid of not impressing you.
Of not loving someone the way I should have. I am afraid to not find that special someone.
I am afraid of not reaching my potential.
I am afraid of the word control...of people controlling me and my dreams.
I am afraid of strangers.
I am afraid of first impressions. Of not being what I put myself out to be.
Of disappointing my parents.
I am afraid of a lot of things.They may seem ridiculous, confusing, or simply weird. But that is a risk I am going to have to take even if I am.. afraid.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
"I Won't Give Up."
Many of you might have heard this song before. But I catch myself listening to it over and over again, and since we are talking about love, I thought this would fit. And most of all I love the lyrics.
Heartless.
A goodbye never wanted.
A thought never heard.
Moments passed.
Thoughts wasted.
Time.
Dreams turned into reality.
No reply.
Months unspoken.
Promises broken.
Hope.
High expectations.
There is no other way to describe this feeling. This heartless pounding sensation moving through your body. It heaps into your soul, running rapidly through your veins. You feel yourself getting anxious. Your veins pumping harder. The pounding in your chest grows stronger with each breath. It creeps up on you like a shadow, dark and unknown, it stays. You can't sell it at a garage sell, or crumble it up like a piece of paper and throw it away. It comes like a wind storm, fierce with no timetable crashing through everything in its path. You think it's gone, and then it comes back, wanting, needing more. There is no stopping it.
Love.
A thought never heard.
Moments passed.
Thoughts wasted.
Time.
Dreams turned into reality.
No reply.
Months unspoken.
Promises broken.
High expectations.
There is no other way to describe this feeling. This heartless pounding sensation moving through your body. It heaps into your soul, running rapidly through your veins. You feel yourself getting anxious. Your veins pumping harder. The pounding in your chest grows stronger with each breath. It creeps up on you like a shadow, dark and unknown, it stays. You can't sell it at a garage sell, or crumble it up like a piece of paper and throw it away. It comes like a wind storm, fierce with no timetable crashing through everything in its path. You think it's gone, and then it comes back, wanting, needing more. There is no stopping it.
Love.
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Truth.
"I AM STRONG because I know my Weaknesses
I AM BEAUTIFUL because I am aware of my Flaws
I AM FEARLESS because I learnt to recognize, illusion from Real
I AM WISE because I learn from my Mistakes
I AM A LOVER because I have felt Hate
and
I CAN LAUGH because I have known Sadness."
How true is this. Every line relates to different situations that have made me who I am today. Being a teenager can be really hard. You have to learn to be strong enough to say no, to realize you are beautiful without looking like everyone else, you have to become fearless in making decisions, you have to learn to love those that are real and not fake, and you have to learn to laugh. I don't know about anyone else, but I think knowing who you are and what you stand for can be the hardest decsions in your life. You want to fit in and feel apart of something. There is too much pressure on being perfect. Those who look like they have it all together can often be those that are falling apart the most inside. We never know what people have been through to become who they are today. We cannot judge those around us. NONE of us have the right to do that.
I am strong, beautiful, fearless, wise, a lover, and I have learned to laugh. I read these qualities and I want to think that of myself. I think it is sad when people can only think of the negative about themselves. They don't see their amazing potential. They don't realize what they can do! I must confess that I have had these days. I look in the mirror and sometimes I am not happy with myself. Im not happy with who I am. Those are the days when we can change. We can become better and learn. We can become beautiful, fearless, wise, a lover, and so much more!
Never doubt what you can do. We can all gain qualities we wish to become.
I AM BEAUTIFUL because I am aware of my Flaws
I AM FEARLESS because I learnt to recognize, illusion from Real
I AM WISE because I learn from my Mistakes
I AM A LOVER because I have felt Hate
and
I CAN LAUGH because I have known Sadness."
How true is this. Every line relates to different situations that have made me who I am today. Being a teenager can be really hard. You have to learn to be strong enough to say no, to realize you are beautiful without looking like everyone else, you have to become fearless in making decisions, you have to learn to love those that are real and not fake, and you have to learn to laugh. I don't know about anyone else, but I think knowing who you are and what you stand for can be the hardest decsions in your life. You want to fit in and feel apart of something. There is too much pressure on being perfect. Those who look like they have it all together can often be those that are falling apart the most inside. We never know what people have been through to become who they are today. We cannot judge those around us. NONE of us have the right to do that.
I am strong, beautiful, fearless, wise, a lover, and I have learned to laugh. I read these qualities and I want to think that of myself. I think it is sad when people can only think of the negative about themselves. They don't see their amazing potential. They don't realize what they can do! I must confess that I have had these days. I look in the mirror and sometimes I am not happy with myself. Im not happy with who I am. Those are the days when we can change. We can become better and learn. We can become beautiful, fearless, wise, a lover, and so much more!
Never doubt what you can do. We can all gain qualities we wish to become.
Who am I?
Who am I to judge?
Who am I to say that I am better then you?
Who am I to exclude people?
Who am I to be selfish?
Who am I to say things I don't mean?
Who am I to not be a better person?
Who am I?
Each day I wake up and TRY to expect the best. I TRY to be a better person. I TRY to love all those around me... But sometimes we have no control and that can be the worst feeling. There will be bad, horrible, sometimes down right unfair days and we question our actions, words, and sometimes ourselves in asking, "Who am I?"
The real question we need to ask ourselves is, "Am I going to let this over take me?" I know that I do not have the best attitude everyday. In fact, most of the time I just have to hope and TRY to have the faith it will be a better day. There is no rule book in being human. We have no instructions of what we should do in each situation. When we make mistakes we are supposed to learn from them. We just have to TRY.
I asked several questions at the beginning of this post... Maybe some of these questions relate to you as they do to me. We are selfish, judgmental, exclusive, rude, and can be harsh with our words. Yet at the same time we love, we are happy, we seek for the best in us and those we love, and we say what we feel. Who am I? I am human. We are ALL human.
Who am I to say that I am better then you?
Who am I to exclude people?
Who am I to be selfish?
Who am I to say things I don't mean?
Who am I to not be a better person?
Who am I?
Each day I wake up and TRY to expect the best. I TRY to be a better person. I TRY to love all those around me... But sometimes we have no control and that can be the worst feeling. There will be bad, horrible, sometimes down right unfair days and we question our actions, words, and sometimes ourselves in asking, "Who am I?"
The real question we need to ask ourselves is, "Am I going to let this over take me?" I know that I do not have the best attitude everyday. In fact, most of the time I just have to hope and TRY to have the faith it will be a better day. There is no rule book in being human. We have no instructions of what we should do in each situation. When we make mistakes we are supposed to learn from them. We just have to TRY.
I asked several questions at the beginning of this post... Maybe some of these questions relate to you as they do to me. We are selfish, judgmental, exclusive, rude, and can be harsh with our words. Yet at the same time we love, we are happy, we seek for the best in us and those we love, and we say what we feel. Who am I? I am human. We are ALL human.
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